Today I will talk to some Pain Specialists (how'd you like to specialize in pain? Shouldn't it be Pain Relief Specialist or something?) about how to manage the pain. Please pray that they might have some different ideas about meds or ways to deal with this pain. As Dr. A reminded me yesterday, the good news is that this pain is not a symptom of an infection or a rupture or something going terribly wrong. It's just pain. The bad news is... it's painful. ;)
Yesterday I was a little frustrated. I've been back in the hospital for nearly a week again now, and I don't feel like I'm making a lot of progress. I want to go home, school is weighing on my mind, I've eaten pretty much everything on the menu about 5 times, I get woken up every half hour after 4:00 am, I'm bored, tired, drugged... My mom reminded me that my frustration was really with the God who put me in this situation, and that the Bible calls frustration anger. I was angry at God. Ouch. Well, it was true, and I am glad my mom confronted me on that... so I asked God's forgiveness. I don't understand why He's taking me through this, and it's not pleasant or fun, but I know that He has a plan -- one that I may never see -- and He has promised to work all things together for good for those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. I don't know exactly what He hopes to accomplish, but I pray that my attitude will reflect His love and grace.
A verse that has been on my mind is Romans 8:32 - "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all -- how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" If God gave up His own Son's life to provide a way for us to have forgiveness from our sins, there's nothing in the whole world He wouldn't do for us! So if God wants me to endure this hospital stay and feeling bad for a while or even for the rest of my life, I can be confident that it is for my absolute best. God is so good.
- Please continue to pray for my family. I've been sick for a long time, so their lives have been in a weird holding pattern for a long time. It's starting to weigh on them.
- Pray that the pain would go away and not come back
- Please pray that the pain doctors have some good ideas
- Pray that, no matter what, I would keep my eyes fixed on Jesus