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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Discouraged

Lisa is doing well so far since surgery - not having much pain, just kinda bored and hungry! Please pray that her recovery will keep being boring and uneventful! We LIKE that. ;) Also that she can get the rest that she needs - that's hard to come by in hospitals.

Abby got to go home from the hospital, yay! Now she just needs wisdom for how to best finish the semester... Please pray that her professors will be very understanding and helpful and have good suggestions so she can maintain her outstanding grades without killing herself with make-up work!

I'm pretty defeated. Since the middle of Monday night, I've been in at least as much pain as I was when I went to the ER. I've only been able to sleep about three hours a night. I'm taking my meds, but I HATE being on all these drugs, especially since my body does not seem to get much relief from taking them. Nothing makes sense because I'm so exhausted and hurting so much. For example: I read an email, and it said one thing... it didn't really make sense, so I read it again... and it said something completely different. Like, the words changed... I was hallucinating and hearing stuff on Tuesday... Sleep deprivation, much?

Some things are definitely improving - Twitchy continues to do very well! But the other problems were supposed to go away as he got better. I am incredibly overwhelmed to imagine feeling like this for even one more day (which is why we're not supposed to worry about tomorrow). I know God will give me the strength to endure whatever He asks me to endure, but I am in a very tough place right now.

Please pray that God will take away this pain and allow me to rest, if that's His will, and for encouragement for my soul! I've been pretty sick for quite a while and experienced a lot of different pains and discomforts, but I don't know if I've ever felt this terrible for so long without relief. Yet through all of this, my faith is still fixed on Him. Last night, I was incredibly, horribly discouraged and despairing. My roommates prayed over me and anointed me with oil. The prayer was truly amazing - they were both led to pray about God's character - who He is, what's true about Him, what He has promised. It brought me so much encouragement and strength. Resting in those things is the only thing that brings me comfort right now. I don't understand what He's doing and I don't even know how I can bring Him glory as I'm borderline incoherent most of the time. But I trust Him and know who He is and that He's good. I want to be wholly His.

Hannah ;)

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could have been there! I love you and pray for relief. You are so strong Hannah!

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