Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Good Bad Day

Hey everybody!

Thanks for your continued prayers and encouragement! They mean so much to me! I'm in a lot of pain again... I think that the weather started changing yesterday afternoon. I've been really hurting since then. Today is also day three with the pain patch - it seems like the medicine only lasts two days, so that's kinda a bummer on day three! I'm also having my weird dizzy/shaky/tired/heart racing/stomach acting up episodes again today, even though I've bumped back up on steroids. My labs from Friday came back today - they were kinda screwy - clearly trending towards adrenal-crash values even then, so at least I know I'm not imagining that something is going on, haha! I just feel lousy.

Tomorrow is the last test of the semester that I'm concerned about. I'm taking one final next Monday, but beyond that and tomorrow's test, I've accomplished pretty much all I need to do to earn incompletes. There was a bit of drama with one professor, but I think he forgot/misunderstood that I need an incomplete because I'm too sick to catch up. He was just really pushing me to finish the course... asking me to take 4-5 tests between now and Wednesday. Once I reiterated that I'm not able to finish the course, and reminded him about the amount of work we agreed on to earn an incomplete (and CC'd my advisor in an email to him), he was more cooperative and agreed that if I can take tomorrow's test, that's enough work. If I want/am able, I can make up additional work next week, but if not, I can finish the rest of the course next fall.

Even though today has been a very tough day, physically, it's been a really good "bad" day. It's neat to see how God has been "spoiling" me with all kinds of blessings to make my life so much easier - it was such a pretty day, work got cancelled, so I was able to get not one, but two naps in!! My professor, after being a little difficult to work with, agreed to our original plan! Two of my advisors talked to me to make sure everything was going okay with school and professors. Dr Pain (have I mentioned that he's pretty much my hero?) randomly sent me a sweet encouraging email today. A pharmacist went above and beyond to get my prescriptions transferred. Just seems like God was going over the top to help me out today. I got to spend a lot of time pouring over the gospels - just reading several chapters. Also II Corinthians 11 and 12. Even though I feel pretty terrible, my soul and His Spirit were just wriggling with joy and contentment inside me. ;)

I was supposed to have a GI Dr appointment tomorrow, but he's had a family emergency and will be out for a while, so I don't know when that appointment will happen. Arg. It was supposed to be the big discussion to decide what "The Plan" will be medically and surgically from here out, which I've been anxious to hear, since at this point my life is a big blank after I take that last test on Monday. I can't plan to start anything new school or job-wise until I know if/what type of surgery/treatments we're gonna do and when we're gonna do them. They rescheduled me with GI Dr's PA, but I think I'm gonna postpone until I can see him, since I don't know her well, and we're swimming in such uncharted waters that even GI Dr is unsure of what to do (Okay, Mom, you were right... and so I changed my mind and should reschedule when GI Dr can see me).

So I'll keep living in this holding pattern of uncertainly for a bit longer, which is okay- not one of us knows what our lives will be like tomorrow. We think we know, but really, we don't! God is in control, and so I'm trying to not be worried about the lack of a plan... and honestly, the appointment probably will fail to bring a totally clear-cut plan anyways. So this is yet another opportunity to cast this on the Lord and trust Him! It's kinda cool how He forces me to live like we're all supposed to live - trusting Him, one day at a time. It's very good for me!

Thankfully, my sleep issues have been a little better. Despite really hurting, I got a good 4 consecutive hours last night, plus I was able to nap today! Please pray I'd have some relief from pain and be able to rest tonight as well. Also that my body would stay out of the adrenal episode stuff tonight and tomorrow. That way I can focus and be well enough to take that last test tomorrow! After that, anything I do school-wise is icing on the cake. I'm so ready to just quit pushing and give myself a break for a while... almost there...

Hannah ;)

1 comment:

  1. Oh Hannah, so sorry the pain came back yesterday! I hope today was a better day! Glad you've been able to get a little sleep lately, that totally makes a difference! I'm thinking about you and praying for better day! Love ya, Lisa