Tip for hospital users: if you throw around the "bleeding internally" phrase in the ER, you get seen real quick. ;) I was truly blessed to have very sweet, caring nurses. Although it took them about a million tries to get into a vein, I was rewarded for my patience with lots of strong IV pain meds. Unfortunately, even that wasn't doin' the trick to take the edge off. For round three, the doctor upped the dose, and I finally started to feel some relief! Yay! Praise God. So I got to come home around 11:30 pm.
I'm a little frustrated that it came to the point that I had to go to the hospital to get the pain under control - I've been telling Endo Dr and GI Dr how bad I'm feeling. I don't complain to my doctors unless I'm really suffering. So it was disappointing to feel like they didn't take it seriously, and I wound up in the ER. On the other hand, I know that there's really not much else that they can do. It's just a tough situation.
No one even knows exactly what's going on with the ridiculous pain levels - if it's my arthritis flaring, steroid-related arthropathy/myopathy or what. The plan is to talk to/go to clinic to see GI Dr tomorrow. He wants to play around with my meds some more (oh fun....). The concerning thing is that even if Humira is my magic cure, it can take quite some time to kick in. That means we have to find a way to make life livable until it has a chance to take effect... provided that God leads that Humira is the treatment option we should take.
Please pray for wisdom for the doctors - that we'd be able to work out a plan to get me more functional, even if we can't pinpoint exactly what the problem is. Please also pray for grace and endurance and hopefully relief for me! I pray God is honored through me. Finally, please pray that God will clearly direct the doctors, my family, and me to make the best choices in terms of treatment options.
While I was in the ER feeling so bad, I kept listening to a song over and over again... the words are inspired by Isaiah 53:
"Surely He's borne our griefs, carried our sorrows,
Though we've gone astray;
It's by His stripes and wounds, we were healed
On that glorious day....
Oh Lord, I've pierced Your hands,
Yet Your blood declares my innocence!"
I was reminded of the suffering of Jesus, who took my sin on Himself so that God could count me innocent. What an amazing God. I was also encouraged to remember that Jesus knows what it's like to suffer, and has suffered so much more than we will ever face. This week, I've been meditating a lot on Philippians 2 and 3. There's a verse that talks about knowing God in the fellowship of His sufferings. There is a sweet intimacy and closeness with Christ that can only be gained in suffering. I am truly blessed that He's giving me that deep knowledge of Himself through trials.