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Sunday, May 23, 2010

"Delight yourself in the Lord..."

The Take Steps Walk was a great success - a big thank you to all who showed their support! ;) I got to meet Bryan, founder of riseandconquer.org, who just got out of the hospital from surgery #2! Keep him in your prayers as he recovers! Even my GI Dr was at the walk! Which brought up an interesting dilemma... what do you say to your GI Dr in casual conversation? I mean, we talk a lot and stuff... but all our conversations center on ... unpleasant topics. I discussed the weather with him today. ;/

My pain has been getting more under control since upping the meds, praise God! Unfortunately... as seems to be the pattern a few days after my pain gets worse... I started dumping again on Friday night and feeling dizzy. I've been off and on adrenal crashing all weekend. So I doubled my steroids, which also happens to do wonders for the stiffness in my joints. I finally slept all morning on Sunday, which felt amazing, and the adrenal stuff calmed down enough for me to walk the 5K! Thanks to God (and probably the double dose of steroids), my joints made it the whole way and I felt pretty good!

As I'm tapering off the meds for Twitchy, the pouchitis is definitely rearing its ugly head. So I think we need to give Humira more time to kick in before tapering off.

This week, I meet with Dr A (my surgeon). I have some serious questions for him. I want to know honestly what they think about my possibility of a good outcome from the takedown surgery (getting rid of Squirt and hooking me up to the J pouch). Please pray for wisdom for me and Dr A and all my doctors - hopefully it will be a clarifying appointment.

In addition to Bryan, please pray for Julia! Julia is having a bout of pouchitis, which is a little scary for her and her family... please pray that it quickly goes away and never comes back!

I moved home with my family, and I'm not doing anything this summer - no work, no school - nothing! God is teaching me to be still. Which is something I have never done. I really believe that as I rest, things are going to get better. This is all just a bump in the road, and eventually we will close this chapter and I'll be able to pursue the dreams God has given me. That being said, God is so clearly showing me that His will right now is for me to wait and rest. I was not so happy with that at first... moving back in with your parents after 5 years of being on your own and not working were NOT in my plan. Thankfully, God is in control of guiding my steps, and this is where He's guiding right now! And as I've obeyed, He changes my heart a little more each day and gives me more joy and contentment with where He has me. It reminds me of Psalm 37:4, one of my favorite verses - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Obviously God isn't the tooth fairy or a genie, and He doesn't always give us everything we ask for or want. But as I delight myself in Him and seek Him, He CHANGES the desires of my heart to line up with His will and what He wants. I've seen Him do that in my life over the last few weeks, which is such a blessing!

Hannah ;)

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