Just for you, Macall! ;)
Here's a lovely pic of what my guts look like right now. I wanted to put funny captions on the picture, but I couldn't, since I don't have photo editing stuff . ;(
So... these are the characters I live with every day. Squirt is the "temporary ileostomy" in the picture. Yes, my intestine hangs out on my stomach... That's where my poop exits my body. I eat, he squirts it out. Hence the name. ;) I wear a bag over Squirt to hold the waste. The bag has velcro at the bottom, so I can empty it whenever I go to the bathroom.
Twitchy is the "J pouch" - it's a piece of my small intestine (the ileum, to be precise) that they looped in a J shape and sewed in down where my colon used to be. He got his name because he is inflamed and bleeding (called "pouchitis"), which causes him to spasm and twitch. The point of Twitchy is to one day, after the "takedown surgery," serve as my "new colon." Squirt will be sewn up and put back inside. Then I will poop like the rest of y'all again. Since the colon is 6 feet long, and Twitchy is much smaller than that, I will have to poop more often than most of you, but that's okay, because I have stock in Charmin.