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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

New Plan: Avoid the Rheumatologist!

Still reminding myself of what I said at the end of my last post... clinging to Christ and following HIS plan, not mine! I'm really tired, shaky, light headed, and hurting. I am feeling pretty awful, but I know He is good! ;)

My doctor's appointment yesterday was not so great. I am going to have to stop seeing Rheumy! Every time I do, she wants to send me to the ER! Don't worry; I said no. ;) I was super shaky when I was in her office and she was rather concerned about that. I tried to explain that this just happens sometimes and we don't know why and going to the hospital doesn't do any good, but she did not really get it, unfortunately. No, it isn't right, and it stinks that I have to live feeling like this, but they haven't found anything that helps when I feel this way!

I do appreciate that she takes my concerns so seriously. She told me that I know my body, and so if I know that something is "off" right now, we need to deal with it. Unfortunately, we're sorta at a loss for what's wrong and how to deal with it. The most obvious likely culprit is that the abscesses are flaring up, so she drew labs to check on that. If my labs come back looking bad, they will either add in another antibiotic (and it's one that makes me sick, sadly) or put in a PICC line and do more IV antibiotics. Not excited about either of those options, so hopefully the labs look okay!

So... Rheumy and I agreed that if I didn't go to the hospital that I had to touch base with the endocrine doctor, since the shaky/dizzy/sweaty thing seems to be endocrine related. So I called her today... it was quite unhelpful. Her response was basically, "You're fine. You've been shaky before. It's not an endocrine problem." I knew that she would say that, and I know it's not her fault... but it's frustrating enough to feel real crummy. It's even more frustrating when each doctor either points their finger at another specialist to say that it's their problem or won't address the problem since they don't think it's in their specialty.

The good thing from the appointment is that Rheumy gave me the green light for taking the anti inflammatories that help so much with my joints. She's always been super hesitant and frowned on any use of them for me, based on my history of UC. I guess now she figures I'm so messed up that NSAIDs can't really do much more damage, haha. ;)

I was reading one of my (many) favorite Psalms, Psalm 37. I was just reminded that I do not need to worry or fret, but instead I need to trust in the Lord! He is in control, and me getting worked up about things I cannot change is wrong! "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him... Do not fret -- it leads only to evil." I also LOVE verses 23-24 "The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand." David, who wrote this Psalm, doesn't deny that we may face trouble. The Lord may allow us to struggle and even and stumble. But it is God who holds us up and supports us so that we never fall.

Hannah ;)

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