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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Thin

In just one day last week, FIVE different people at work cornered me to tell me I was too thin and look like I'm losing weight. I'm not quite sure what's up with that - I wear scrubs, so I don't even see how they can tell! ;) And I'm not dangerously underweight or anything - just smaller than my usual. But it's true... I gained weight in November and December, but I've just lost weight since the new year. I'm several pounds lighter than I was when I got discharged from the hospital back in September!

I promise I'm eating - sometimes I am very nauseated so I don't really feel like eating. Also, I just don't get hungry very often - I literally have perhaps one time a week where I actually feel hungry. But really, I'm eating, so I don't understand why this is happening... and my labs look fantastic, so I'm not deficient in vitamins or protein or anything.

I kind of think that some of the not eating thing is psychological - because it used to make me sick when I ate, I go through phases where I am a little bit nervous around food. But really, I do well at eating a lot of the time - I can go out and eat with friends, I eat with my family - I really do try! But the problem is, I have to do well three times a day, which is hard! ;) I tend to just forget to eat and I sometimes can't eat a lot at once. So I might eat a big lunch, but then I don't want to eat dinner and I just had a few bites for breakfast.

I had been doing so good with eating - I was eating totally normally and everything, which was great (except that I cannot eat seeds, nuts, or most raw fruits and veggies. They get "stuck" because of my surgeries and give me obstructions). My eating has gotten worse over the last few weeks... I think that the antibiotics are exacerbating this, but after I get off of them, my system will be all out of whack and it will take ages and tons of yogurt and probiotics to get it back on track again... so frustrating. I used to love food and love cooking and eating, and honestly, I kind of dread eating and being around food most of the time now. Sigh. One day, I will be a cookie monster and foodie and chocoholic again! Until then, I may have to go back to my dear friends Boost and Ensure. ;)

Hannah ;)

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