|What is going on in there?|
|What were VSL#1 and #2??|
|Dr. Saturday ready for action|
I saw Jack Black (Dr. Pain) on Friday. It was a GOOD visit - honestly, my pain is the best controlled it's been since I started needing to see a pain doctor. Words are inadequate to express my gratitude and thankfulness for this! It is unbelievably good and happy to NOT be constantly trying to push down this ever-gnawing pain that's a hair's breadth away from breaking loose and becoming uncontrollable. Since spring of 2010, I've needed medicine to help me fall asleep and stay asleep through the pain. In the past weeks, I've been able to come completely off of this medication and have rarely woken from pain. I received the green light to start tapering off another anti-depressant pain med I've been on for several months - I don't really feel like it's done a thing for me, and I'm all about cutting unnecessary meds! Once I'm completely off of this med (which will take 6+ weeks), I also got permission to experiment with tapering to a lower dose on another scheduled pain medicine. I am very excited that God is causing my pain to decrease, and that I'm able to try to get off some more meds!
|I love Google images! So random.|
On the first day of being back on my normal dose, I noticed I was really shaky, and the following day was even worse. Since going up on the steroids helped, JP Dr decided that I should go back up to the double dosage again for a few weeks, then try to taper down again, but v-e-r-y slowly. She said she was very concerned with how I looked the last time I saw her (I may or may not have almost passed out in her office...). She said she's not sure if it's because of my adrenal issues, my POTS/dysautonomia issues, or an autoimmune flare-up (or a combination of all these things), but it's clear to her that I do need more steroids right now. So back up I go.
My feelings go back and forth... sometimes I'm frustrated and sad that I still spend most of my days in bed, that many days I lack the stamina to get dressed, much less leave the house or work a full-time job. Other times, I feel such excitement and happiness over improvements I see in my health - much less pain, or a day when I have more energy than usual and can get up and accomplish small tasks. It's just a reminder to me that contentment and joy are NOT factors of circumstances. They are a choice, an attitude. Through Christ, it's possible to be content in the most impossible situation (Philippians 4:10-13). I can't allow my emotions or my circumstances to dictate how I act or think or talk to others; rather, I must allow the love of Christ to control me.